How Emotional Intelligence Affects Your Life - Tips To Life
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how emotional intelligence affects your life

How Emotional Intelligence Affects Your Life

  • December 22, 2018

Are your emotional coping skills preventing you from achieving career success?

emotional coping skillsSo what is emotional intelligence and why is it important to you? Basically, what emotional intelligence means is that it is the ability to identify, understand, and effectively manage emotions both your own and those of others. It is the ability to make emotions work for you, instead of against you.

Emotional intelligence is a practical skill that you can add to your repertoire day to day life skills, and that this is one skill that you can develop fully to your advantage. This skill can make you a better leader, a better employee or even a better spouse or parent.

Although shaped by childhood experience, emotional intelligence can be nurtured and strengthened throughout adulthood with that can immediately transform into benefits to our health, our relationships, and our work.

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Emotional intelligence is a very important skill in leadership. People with low emotional intelligence suffer from a disconnect between what they feel and how the other people perceive them. They always think that it’s the other person responsibility to perceive them clearly. Maybe you’re just not communicating emotionally clearly enough.

Do you think that you’re the smartest person in the room at work? Are you able to do work that you know your coworkers cannot match in terms of volume as well as quality? Is it obvious to you that you are more qualified than anybody on your team? Is it also true that you’re not getting the kind of raises and promotions you feel you deserve? If any of this resonates with you, you might want to look at your emotional coping skills.

Understand that the modern American workplace doesn’t just turn on intelligence. It would be so simple if all it takes to be promoted and to get a raise is to be smarter than the next guy.

Emotional Intelligence and IQ

If you’ve worked a day in corporate America, you know that this isn’t the case. It’s not unusual for people who are obviously less intellectually-gifted than you to get promoted not just once, twice, but all the way to the top. What’s going on? Well, a lot of success may turn on intelligence scores. 

emotional intelligence and iqIn fact, in study after study, IQs have been correlated to life success. IQ tests are almost universally accepted as a good indicator of overall life success.

But this begs the question, “how come people with high IQs don’t always become successful?” In fact, if we’re talking about really spectacular levels of success, I’m talking about corner office CEO type of success, when factoring an IQ, it’s a wash.

Now there are other factors. Maybe you’re related to the old boss, maybe you are a part of the right group or you came into the picture with all sorts of advantages. But if we were to account for all of that, there is one other factor that shines forth. It cannot be ignored. This is called emotional intelligence.

One key part of your emotional intelligence is your skill in coping emotionally with certain social situations. This might be holding you back. If you have tough time dealing with completion and you tend to say the wrong things it the wrong people at the wrong time, don’t be surprised if this all blows up in your face when it comes time for a promotion. 

If you find yourself always locked into some sort of negative emotional feedback loop with certain types of personalities in your office, don’t be surprised if this has a negative effect on your career trajectory. These situations impact your emotional coping skills. 

How exactly do you deal with difficult people? How do you interact with people who seem to oppose you at every turn? How do you manage people who have obviously negative attitudes and corrosive personality? These problems are not going away nor can they be explained away. You can just rely in your high IQ and magically make these difficult people disappear. It doesn’t work that way. 

This is where emotional intelligence comes in your emotional coping skills maybe preventing you from going up the corporate ladder as fast as you wish. This takes a lot of honesty because let’s face It nobody likes to be wrong. Most people don’t like to feel that there’s something wrong with them. But if you want to make progress, you need to look at your emotional coping skills with clear eyes. 

“Am I handling certain situations in the best way could? Maybe I don’t have to react. Maybe I don’t have to always pull rank. Maybe I don’t have to automatically dismiss people. Maybe there is some sort of win-win situation here. “. Unfortunately, most people are ill-equipped to handle these questions and that’s why we achieve success on a fairly random basis. Sometimes we do well, sometimes we don’t.

If you want a little bit more predictability in managing your day to day success by honing your emotional coping skills, click here.

What Lack Of Emotional Clarity Can Do For You

Enter your text here...You’ve probably have heard this old saying: if you don’t love yourself, why should you expect others to do what you can’t do for yourself. There’s a lot of truth to that.

Let’s put it this way, if you are conflicted or confused about your emotions, there's a high chance you are not sending the right signals to people around you. They want to help, and they care and love you, but they can’t quite seem to reach you. I know it hurts but the truth is, it’s all your fault.

You have to understand that life is not a movie. When you’re watching movies there is a script, there is a footage, and there are actors. But at the end of the day, you’re watching something that is complete.

There’s nothing you can do to influence whatever goes on in the movie. All you can do is sit down, watch the movie and let the directors, screenwriters, and actors perform for you. That’s how it works.

I don’t know the exact nature of your relationships but that should not be a one way street. There is give and take. It’s very easy for people to feel frustrated in their relationship because they can’t get what they wanted from it in the first place. They don’t bother to stop and think about their role in the relationship.

What are you putting in? How do you influence the flow of the emotional signals that you have with the other person? Is it fair to that other person when you put all the weight on their shoulders? Of course not. You don’t want that done to you, right? This is where lack of emotional clarity comes in.

Most people always focus on how they’re being cheated, how they’re being hurt, and how they’re not getting what they feel they have coming to them. Rarely do they look at the other side.

 People are very shallow about it. This is a serious problem because if you want more fulfilling relationships, you need to develop the emotional intelligence skill of emotional clarity.

A lot of people define this ability in strictly self-serving facts. In their words they say, “I just need to know how I’m feeling and what kind of emotions are going through my mind and heart at any given point of time.” That’s just part of the picture. If you stop there, then it’s no surprise that your relationships are not living up to their fullest potential.

What’s the problem here? It’s not just about you that’s a big part of your relationship, but there’s the other side of the equation. You have to also pay attention to the consequences of your emotional signals and most importantly the clarity with which you communicate. If you want to get out from under this problem, click here.

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